| Saturday, April 26, 2008,4:02 AM |
is the day, that i dread.
a blink of an eye,
it's already been ten months
ten whole months without you.
ten painful months all of us have to live through.
ten months of missing you.
ten months without seeing your smile
ten months without you is painful, do you know that?
i still remember how much we cried that day.
27th June 2007.
when teacher came into class and announced.
that you had left.
when my mom told me about it before i went to school
i couldnt believe it.
i shouted at her in the car.
it was unbelievable, it was an extremely painful moment for me
when i got to school, i was standing outside looking at the school gate.
staring at the people who were happily walking in.
trying to find you in that big crowd
standing there for half an hour, it made my heart pound
it felt like jumping out
i was desperate. the most desperate time i felt in my whole life
people walked out of the class and asked me if i was okay
i couldnt bear to tell them. i didnt believe it.
but then sie shing came and said "today is freddie's special day."
i glared at him. both angry and shocked.
"it's his birthday." i felt like collapsing on the floor that time
i felt like crying. for what?
but then. you didnt show up
teacher poh told me and reychelle
i remember crying with reychelle outside class while our classmates were staring at us
when michelle came, she was like "what happened?"
she knew something was wrong.
she said "when reych cried. maybe something is a bit wrong. when jane cries, there's a big problem. but when both cries, something really bad happened."
we told her. and she started to cry too.
we all cried outside class. trying to stop.
but our tears were uncontrollable.
it was flowing down like a small stream on our face.
when my eyes were puffy. and i had a tear-stained face
i walked in class while everyone was looking at teacher stella, who was crying.
"our friend, freddie, is gone."
i felt my heart beat stop for that very second. so it was true.
my little stream of tears turned into a huge river.
crying uncontrollably, i looked at the other people
everyone was crying.
everyone was crying for you.
even the boys who never cried
everyone misses you.
it was the most quiet time ever in a class.
1 hour of pure silence.
only our sobs could be heard
looking at your empty seat only made us cry more.
we miss you, we really do
i regret teasing you all the time, i regret not spending enough time with you.
you were my friend, and i was our friend
we had good times and bad.
1 hour of pure silence was ruined when people from other classes started to know
form 1 e came and teased us. because we were crying.
but then vk stepped up. i never saw him that mad before
you could see flames in his eyes.
vk shouted at them
"sorry. your dad did not die here. so please fuck off. because you're not welcome" he shouted in chinese.
the boys all went to the door and shouted at them
i remember shouting "stupid hamsap kia. siam la. fuck off."
seriously, i was so mad that i slammed the door at their faces.
attending your funeral was the most painful part of all.
we were planning not to cry but we couldnt help it.
it was just too painful to hold in.
it's been 10 months already
time flies fast.
right now, i feel like bursting.
i feel like crying, yet no tears are coming out.
we miss you freddie
please remember that your friends here love you.
hope you're having a good time in the beautiful sky above.
Epik High - One
ONE!
Time is tickin′. T-Time is tickin′, tickin′.
Time is tickin′, T-Time is tickin′ away...
(Tablo)
I want to see your tears pour out, pour out without reason
No one knows inside your heart, The glass fragments raging a storm
(Tablo)
The wounds become a sickness, All doors become a wall
I've become an enemy in the mirror, doesn't it hurt?
(Mithra)
[I'll] keep anyone from knowing about you, [I'll] leave the breath to tighten out
I'll force you to choose the end, (aren't I bad?), I'll take away all reason in this world for you to to stand
(Mithra)
Without the choice of the road back, [I guess] you'll walk to the end
Your breath would probably end before my heart
(JiSun)
Wounds... Scars... Tears... Flowing
(When you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin′)
(JiSun)
You are wandering through death, (I'll save you...)
(When you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin′)
You are the one.
When you're walking in shadows
(When I'm panicking in the shadows, my breath does the same)
you are my savior
I'll reach my hand out to you
(When all the doors in the world close for me, I'll support you with my hand)
you are the one. you are my savior.
.
.
Time is tickin′. T...
.
(Mithra)
Your hand set the world on fire, You closed everyone's eyes
The suffering that was reflected in your eyes like stars become your city
(Mithra)
Are your still dreaming, sleeping? Are you measuring all the tears you've shed?
Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn't it sad?
(Tablo)
Maybe you wake up drenched in sweat at night, Is consciousness crawling on the floor?
Are you thinking it's the end, are you ok? 'cause I understand
(Tablo)
I'm a scar on your broken body, I'll erase the tears you've hidden away in your shattered marriage
I'll grab your hand With my hand and trust you
(JiSun)
You are wandering through death, (I'll save you...)
(When you cry. though you try. say goodbye. the time is tickin′)
You are the one.
When you're walking in shadows
(When I'm panicking in the shadows, my breath does the same)
you are my savior
I'll reach my hand out to you
(When all the doors in the world close, I'll support you with my hand)
you are the one. you are my savior.
.
you are the one. you are my savior.
.
(Tablo)
Do you have wounds, do you have scars, Are you wandering through shadows?
.
(Tablo)
Do you have wounds, do you have scars, Are you wandering through shadows?
(Faith, Destiny, Love.)
.
you′re still beautiful to me.
.
You are the one.
When you're walking in shadows
(When I'm panicking in the shadows, my breath does the same)
you are my savior
I'll reach my hand out to you
(When all the doors in the world close for me, I'll support you with my hand)
Time is tickin′. T-Time is tickin′, tickin′.
Time is tickin′, T-Time is tickin′ away...
.
.
My savior.
.
.
ONE!
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| i own this wonderland |
Believe in the power of Karma. Whatever you do shall be repaid, be it good or bad. Oh, and this is my blog, so I obviously don’t give a damn about what you think.
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since 6th July 2008
♣ jane, sora, wasabii or milk
♣ 12.o1
♣ likes to photoshop
♣ studying in CHMS
♣ obsessed with touching hair
♣ loves chocolate way too much
♣ listens to korean music
♣ is random, weird and crazy
♣ is nice but mean in some ways
♣ does not like to be teased
♣ likes reading fanfics & manga
♣ a lousy writer
♣ i hate DOTA with passion
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IWants
♠ a happy life
♠ his love and undivided attention
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♠ more plushies (i bet this will never be crossed off)
♠ study hard
♠ more drawing tools
♠ stable emotions
♠ cuff earrings
♠ second piercing (left)
♠ more clothes
♠ learn hacking
♠ DIE SWINE FLU!!! PERISH!
♠ find cappu
♠
♠ get "dark lord"
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