| Saturday, July 19, 2008,8:00 AM |
my hear hurts alot
it's shattering into pieces
while im typing this, tears are falling out again
this is the second time im crying today
first time was when chia hoe inflicted pain to my arm by twisting it.
but now, uncontrollable tears are falling, it wont stop.
mental pain is far more worse than physical pain
and at this time, i have no one to go to for comfort.
as i am crying, im trying to chat happily so no one will notice
no one will ever notice the girl crying in a dark corner by herself.
oh lucky days ...
bokura no lucky days ...
it's not helping...
lucky days... one of the best songs to listen to at a time like this
failed for the first time
im typing this while doing alot of other stuff
and somehow, my tears ceased already
am i that stupid?
crying over something like this?
am i that stupid to almost believe you when all the evidence and clues were placed in front of me?
to think of giving up when i was only one step away from solving
i guess it all doesnt matter now
this... i no longer want to think about it.
i no longer want to talk about it
im sorry.
if i see you in a different way next time we meet.
which is probably monday.
are you trying to make me feel special?
telling me im the only person who knows?
well... you want to know how i feel?
at situations like this, you'd be thinking that i'll be angry, right?
to be honest, im not. im the least bit angry
instead of being angry, im depressed.
i feel so low... crying like this.
i dont like crying. i never did. who would?
tears keep coming and going.
the worst thing about it is that, i want it to fall. so i'll cry till im satisfied
but it wont fall. instead, it'll fill my eyes and dry off again then the process repeats again and again.
im trying to let you know how i feel in the least dramatic way i possibly could
if you want to be mad, go ahead and be mad.
i did my part as a best friend, now it's your turn.
im sorry, if i hurt you and ignored you just now when i was being depressed.
you should know... that when you're depressed because of someone, you should not talk to him/her for some time until you're over it
im ignoring you... so you wont get offended or hurt by my words when im like this
i just dont want you to worry, like you even would.
im not going to stop being your friend because of this, that would be dumb
sorry if any of this offended you.
you should know how i feel and try to understand
picture yourself in my shoe and try to feel how i feel
i hope... that you wont do this to me ever again...
| my world ★ |
| i own this wonderland |
Believe in the power of Karma. Whatever you do shall be repaid, be it good or bad. Oh, and this is my blog, so I obviously don’t give a damn about what you think.
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since 6th July 2008
♣ jane, sora, wasabii or milk
♣ 12.o1
♣ likes to photoshop
♣ studying in CHMS
♣ obsessed with touching hair
♣ loves chocolate way too much
♣ listens to korean music
♣ is random, weird and crazy
♣ is nice but mean in some ways
♣ does not like to be teased
♣ likes reading fanfics & manga
♣ a lousy writer
♣ i hate DOTA with passion
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| what i read & want |
IWants
♠ a happy life
♠ his love and undivided attention
♠ improve my drawing
♠ more plushies (i bet this will never be crossed off)
♠ study hard
♠ more drawing tools
♠ stable emotions
♠ cuff earrings
♠ second piercing (left)
♠ more clothes
♠ learn hacking
♠ DIE SWINE FLU!!! PERISH!
♠ find cappu
♠
♠ get "dark lord"
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