13; wonderland ★

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Saturday, February 21, 2009,12:46 AM

today my mood not very good.
cause of mood swings again.
im sorry to the people i've hurt during these mood swings
but i really cant do anything about it.
the more i try to be happy, the sadder i become.
i guess im forever cursed with mood swings.
i made a discovery.
what i suspected was right.
i cant change after all.
saying it is very easy but doing it is very hard.
i've not only been hurt, but have hurt.
i've hurt a lot of people without really knowing.
because im very simple minded like that.
i know im very vengeful. but then, try to change is already not bad le.
like f2a's motto.
it's not how much you've done but what you have done.
i fail to do that, and to make things worse, i know i cant do it.
i can only keep hurting people without knowing, i dont deserve any of my friends.
and im 100% sure they'll be better off without me in their life.
im only a burden to everyone and always make other people mad.

i need carmy a lot right now.
carmy, where are you?
if you're reading this, please go online. please.

i wish you could bring me to KL with you.
i'll miss you a lot when you're gone.

edits;;

sometimes i wish that gerald was a girl.
i'd love to hug the girl gerald.
cause he's always there to cheer me up when im crying.
my keyboard says thanks to gerald for saving it.

my world ★

i own this wonderland

Believe in the power of Karma. Whatever you do shall be repaid, be it good or bad. Oh, and this is my blog, so I obviously don’t give a damn about what you think.

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since 6th July 2008

♣ jane, sora, wasabii or milk
♣ 12.o1
♣ likes to photoshop
♣ studying in CHMS
♣ obsessed with touching hair
♣ loves chocolate way too much
♣ listens to korean music
♣ is random, weird and crazy
♣ is nice but mean in some ways
♣ does not like to be teased
♣ likes reading fanfics & manga
♣ a lousy writer
♣ i hate DOTA with passion

my life ★

what i read & want

IRead
~~orange planet. cherry juice. love luck. beauty is the beast~~ AAA. chocolate cosmos. special a. vampire knight. love berrish. ouran high school host club. koukou debut. charisma doll. maid sama!. Saboten No Himitsu
~~WANTOHG. he was cool. high school royalty~~ Syndrome. TLH. love sucks. OHTDE. Suicide Note. TIWOSCM. yu tian. death glare (lots more but cant think of any right now)

IWants
♠ a happy life
♠ his love and undivided attention
♠ improve my drawing
♠ more plushies (i bet this will never be crossed off)
♠ study hard
~~♠ beat LSC (never gonna happen)~~ beat him in english, content :p
~~♠ everything to be normal again~~
♠ change my attitude
♠ more drawing tools
♠ stable emotions
♠ cuff earrings
♠ second piercing (left)
~~♠ a nice drawing just for me~~ hehe, thanks xt :D
♠ more clothes
♠ learn hacking
♠ DIE SWINE FLU!!! PERISH!
♠ find cappu
♠ ~~get "lone wolf"~~ \\ ~~then fugin :D~~
♠ get "dark lord"

my rules ★

histories